Learning to Ask for Help When You’re Used to Doing Everything Yourself
Today’s blog is a little different, because I’m exposing one of my flaws to millions of people through this platform. I’m doing this because learning and developing oneself is the core purpose of fancypositivity.com.
The title may seem confusing at first, but the more you read, the more it will make sense.
Layovers and the Need to Recharge
For those who don’t know, I’m a flight attendant; working in a service-oriented field, but make it the skies. This job has shaped my personality dramatically: my communication skills, patience, empathy, and so much more. I’ll be totally honest, sometimes I’m a people person, and sometimes I just want to space out and stay in my own bubble. It’s hard to do that on working days, but I still manage, hehe.
With traveling comes hotel stays and being away from home, all part of the package. And on layovers, the roles reverse: I become the customer receiving services.
For me, layovers = exploring the city or surroundings, no matter how many times I’ve been there, how unsafe it may feel, or how challenging the weather is. But as I said earlier, when my battery drains, I need to lock myself away from the overstimulation of the world, and my hotel room is where I find that peace.
Which brings us to the topic: staying in the room means calling reception, asking for amenities, ordering food, basic hotel services. And here comes the flaw. Instead of using these services, I’ve noticed how often I put on clothes over my comfy pajamas, walk the long hallway, and go down to the reception to ask for what I need face to face. Why? Why do I think twice before pressing a button that exists for me to use as a guest?
I realized two possible reasons behind my hesitation. Scenario one: I like to get things done by myself. Scenario two: I don’t like asking because I feel like I’m giving people extra work.
Don’t judge me yet, keep reading.
Scenario One: Doing Things Myself
Let’s tackle the first point. Yes, I love doing things on my own because I believe I’ll do them exactly the way I want. But that shouldn’t always be the case. Sometimes you’re pressed for time, with tasks and life challenges falling on you all at once. In those moments, save yourself the burnout by letting someone else take on a few of those tasks. Once you reach burnout, there won’t be a you to finish anything. I get it, “I CAN DO IT” is always on your mind. On mine too.
Past experiences shape how we operate. Maybe you once asked someone to write an essay and they missed the deadline, so you ended up doing it yourself. Maybe you trusted a laundry service and they didn’t meet your expectations, so now you iron your shirts on your own. We’re human—we mess up sometimes. But that’s okay. I’ve learned to move on and ask again, even once, twice, three times. Overworking yourself isn’t okay, especially in a team environment. Learn to delegate, take things off your shoulders, and you’ll be surprised at how much better you perform compared to when you carry everything alone.
Scenario Two: Not Wanting to Burden Others
Now for scenario two: actually asking for the service. This is the harder part for you and me, the independent ones, the “I CAN DO IT MYSELF” team. When I work, I give the best service I can. I bet you do too. And I know that good results bring happiness, whether in the form of a smile, a compliment, or even good income. Whatever it is, remember that someone else is willing to serve for the same reasons. That’s when I started pressing that call button. If I worked at a hotel, I’d want my guests to be happy and well taken care of. You’re not overloading anyone, you’re giving them a chance to take pride in their work (as long as you’re not requesting things non-stop, of course).
The Bigger Picture: Asking for Help in Daily Life
Honestly, going down to the reception might even be more of a hassle for them than simply pressing the button and letting the call be directed to the right department.
In conclusion, and stepping away from the hotel example, asking for help in daily life is normal, and it’s what keeps us functioning, whether at work or home. Teamwork works miracles, even if the “team” is just two people. Try building the habit of asking for support and being open about what you want and expect from others. I’m working on that too. People can be just as happy to help as you are when you’re the one offering support. You’re not putting them under pressure, they’ll communicate it if they feel that way.
If you relate to this, even a little, remember this:
Asking for help doesn’t make you less capable. It keeps you capable.
And that’s worth practicing, one small call button at a time.
