This year, I’ve faced two significant losses: my grandmother and my uncle. My grandmother was a cornerstone of my daily life. I saw her almost every day, and her presence shaped my routines and emotions deeply. Losing her left a void that feels impossible to fill.
My uncle’s loss is different yet equally profound. He lived abroad, so I wasn’t as physically close to him growing up. But last year, after many years apart, we reconnected. We spent a whole day together, and in that short time, our bond deepened in ways I couldn’t have imagined. I feel blessed to have had that moment with him, but also cursed, because losing him now feels so much heavier after becoming closer again.
Navigating the Blankness of Grief
When it comes to losing someone—or being there for someone who has lost someone they love—I often find myself at a loss. I don’t know if others can relate, but for me, it feels like my mind just shuts down. Whether it’s thoughts or emotions, everything goes blank. It’s not even that I don’t know what to think—I just don’t think at all.
I find myself in this state of denial, unsure of what I’m supposed to feel or how to process it. Don’t get me wrong—I do cry. But after the crying, there’s this overwhelming void, a deep emptiness. That’s when the questions creep in: What do I do now? How am I supposed to feel? How do I comfort someone else who’s grieving? What do I say to them?
I know grief looks different for everyone, and there’s no “right” way to grieve. Each person has their own way of coping. Yet, I can’t help but feel strange about how I handle it. Maybe it’s the lack of clarity, or maybe it’s because grief is such a heavy, messy thing to navigate.
But here I am, writing about it, because writing is how I express myself best. It’s where I can sort through the chaos and try to make sense of it all.
A Gentle Reminder: Love Them Now
Let’s get one thing very clear: I’m no expert or professional when it comes to grief. I’m not here to tell you how to deal with your emotions or thoughts because, as I’ve already shared, I often feel lost myself. And no, I can’t tell you that this is the “normal” way to feel after loss, because grief is deeply personal and comes in so many different forms.
That said, there are a few things I’ve come to realize, and I want to share them with you—not as advice, but as reminders. The first and most important one is this: spend time with the people you love. Truly connect with them. Don’t hold back your love or shy away from expressing it.
Give that hug. Share that kiss. Say “I love you.”
Tell them how much you care, and show it in small, simple ways. It doesn’t have to be grand gestures—sometimes the little things matter most. Because as much as we don’t want to think about it, tomorrow is not promised.
I’m not saying this to make you feel sad or hopeless—quite the opposite, actually. If you know me, you know I’m a positive person at heart. I try to see the good in everything. And this is my way of encouraging you to embrace the time you have now, to give freely of your love, and to make those connections matter while you can.
The Power of Resolution: Don’t Let Conflicts Linger
Kindness and spending time with loved ones go hand in hand with another crucial lesson: don’t leave conflicts unresolved. Trust me when I say this—any conflict, no matter how difficult it feels in the moment, can be resolved if two people are willing to sit down, talk openly, and truly listen to one another.
I’ve seen how something small can grow into something much bigger simply because no one wanted to address it. Days, weeks, even years can pass, and what started as a tiny misunderstanding becomes a wall between two people. And for what? When you take the time to communicate—to really hear each other out—you realize most conflicts aren’t as big as they seem.
Even if a resolution feels out of reach, leaving things on good terms matters. Sometimes you may not find the perfect solution, but parting with understanding, respect, and kindness makes all the difference. Life is too short to let unresolved issues fester, especially when tomorrow isn’t promised.
So, if there’s someone you’re at odds with, take that step. Have the conversation. Extend that olive branch. It’s not about who’s right or wrong—it’s about cherishing the connection you have and not letting something so small take that away.
Caring for Those Who Grieve and Honoring the Lost
Now that I’ve shared my perspective on grief, I want to talk about something just as important: how to support someone who has lost a dear person. It might sound simple, and it’s something you probably already know, but showing kindness goes a long way. Sometimes, the smallest gestures—kind words or even a simple act of care—can speak volumes.
One of the most meaningful ways to support someone who is grieving is by caring about the people or things that their loved one cared for. This could mean spending time with their family, looking after a pet they adored, or maintaining something they treasured. It’s a way of showing you understand the depth of their loss and want to honor it.
If you’re grieving on your own, one way to keep their memory alive is by holding onto the good moments you shared. It could be as simple as revisiting a photo or video that makes you smile, or saying a prayer for them if that’s something you practice.
Another way to honor their memory is by continuing something they loved. Maybe it’s taking up a hobby they enjoyed or accomplishing something they dreamed you’d achieve. These acts are small but powerful ways to keep their presence alive in your life.
Grief doesn’t have a roadmap, but kindness—both toward others and yourself—can help light the way.
Life Goes On, and So Should You
Here’s the thing—this is something you probably already know deep down. You might admit it to yourself sometimes, or you might not, but the truth is that life goes on. And as hard as it is to accept, you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.
I’m not saying this to sound insensitive, because grief is valid, and it’s heavy. But I want to encourage you to carry empathy—for yourself and for others. Hold onto kindness, because it’s what keeps us connected and helps us heal.
At the same time, don’t bury yourself under the weight of your losses. Don’t let grief take away the chance to embrace the good things happening around you. Life is still unfolding, and nice things will come your way—I truly believe that.
So, don’t forget those you’ve lost, but don’t forget yourself and the people who are still here, either. There’s room for both remembrance and renewal. Carry the love you have for those who are gone, and let it inspire you to live fully, with kindness, empathy, and hope.
